Hot on the heels of Walgreen’s acquisition of drugstore.com comes today’s surprise announcement that Amazon.com (NASDAQ:AMZN) is acquiring Rite Aid (NYSE:RAD). The story just broke on Dow Jones Newswires. Wow!Here’s what CEO Jeff Bezos had to say about the combination, which will be renamed RITEon.com:
“Amazon's 2010 revenues were $34.2 billion, up 134% over the past four years. We have the highest American Customer Satisfaction Index (ACSI) score for any retailer, whether Internet or brick-and-mortar. Acquiring a debt-laden underperformer that loses market share each and every day is exactly the kind of challenge that I need.”Apparently, Rite-Aid’s 15 minute prescription guarantee program will be retooled because (per Bezos) “one-quarter of an hour is not Internet speed.” Following the acquisition, Amazon Prime members who don’t get their prescription filled in 5 minutes will get a free Amazon Instant Video movie rental. On the downside, RITEon.com will only guarantee that prescriptions are "mostly accurate."
"RITEon, a groovy idea, man," added Bezos.
Read my comments below for important details of this surprising deal.
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OMG! It’s April Fool’s Day again!
You are too good!
ReplyDeleteYou had me until Groovy.
Hi Adam
ReplyDeleteIt is not nice to do April Fool’s jokes….
I like the name, riteon:)
ReplyDeleteNicely done. Forwarded to co-workers. They will be as snagged as me.
ReplyDeleteAdam,
ReplyDeleteLove the story today…
Yes, some folks have kicked to me ( they think I am that gullible?)…
Adam,
ReplyDeleteA brilliant April Fools! Very funny!
Great column, Adam. I was preparing for CVS/Caremark acquiring RiteAid, and renaming the combined firm rite-off.
ReplyDeleteI didn't think you could top Wal-Wal, but you did!!
ReplyDeleteAh yes, April Fool's Day 2009...good times.
ReplyDeleteFor those new to Drug Channels: Wal-Mart to Buy Walgreens
Adam
Good one Adam, you had some of us going!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe that you got me again. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteThe logo is fantastic! How did you DO that?
ReplyDeleteAn actual email to me this morning:
ReplyDelete"5 minutes to fill an rx? This concerns me from an accuracy perspective."
I can't make this stuff up!
Adam,
ReplyDeleteLove your humor as much as your insightful articles:)
I enjoy a good joke; I expected to see them on April 1, 2011, but not from what I thought of as professional source. I will still look for your news and comments just not take them as seriously.
ReplyDeleteJim
Jim,
ReplyDeleteSorry you were offended and/or fooled.
If you were bothered my little joke, then I presume you will also reconsider shopping at Whole Foods, using Google's gmail service, or purchasing Toshiba products.
Just sayin'...
Adam
Wow...had me going for a minute...I work for a major HMO who tries (unsuccessfully) at a 15 minute in and out...errors only multiply when you try going against the clock.
ReplyDeleteAnother excellent job this year. Riteon.
ReplyDeleteI sent it to someone and they actually believed it. I asked them to read it again...
ReplyDeleteSomeone asked me today (April 7) if this was really true!
ReplyDeleteI just told my boss that Amazon was acquiring Rite-Aid. Then I came here for a source. Clearly I am the fool.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy a good joke; I expected to see them on April 1, 2011, but not from what I thought of as professional source. I will still look for your news and comments just not take them as seriously.
ReplyDeleteJim
The logo is fantastic! How did you DO that?
ReplyDeleteAdam,
ReplyDeleteA brilliant April Fools! Very funny!
Nicely done. Forwarded to co-workers. They will be as snagged as me.
ReplyDeleteGood one Adam, you had some of us going!
ReplyDelete